Letters
by GreatPretending
Summary: Kurt and Blaine have broken up. Blaine still has feelings.
1. January 8th

_January Eighth _

Kurt,

It feels strange to be writing you a letter that I know you'll never read. Your name is so familiar to me that I could write it with my eyes shut.

_Kurt_

See? I just did.

I don't know why I can't get over you. I don't know why I can't move on the way you have. I'm happy for you, you know. I'm proud of you. I envy you.

I'm going to be brutally honest here. I've stooped as low as looking up "How to get over your ex" online. Nothing seems to be working. I still think about you every day.

It's like I don't understand anything but you. I grew attached to the fact that I thought you would always be there, and now you're not. I treated you like shit, and I feel terrible. I can't even begin to describe how awful I feel.

I think that I needed you to break my heart, though. It could be argued that I broke my own heart. I needed to see you with someone else, even if I feel denied my last goodbye.

I deserve it, though. I need it. I needed the clean cut you provided to move on, even if I can't yet.

Maybe one day after I've grown up, we can talk again. But until then, I wish you only the best.

I love you.

Blaine.


	2. January 10th

___January Tenth_

Kurt,

God, I feel so pathetic writing you these letters. Somehow, it makes me feel a little better, though. It doesn't work to write "Dear Journal." It has to be to you.

I wish I knew where you were, what you were doing. Are you happy? Is Burt doing better now? Do you ever think of me? Do you hate me?

I love you.

Blaine.


	3. January 12th

___January Twelfth_

Kurt,

I talked to a friend about you today. I'm sorry I screwed things up between us. I'm sorry I created drama. I'm sorry for everything.

Do you remember those times we stayed up until four in the morning, talking quietly on the phone so our parents wouldn't hear? And the time we did it on a school night, and we were _so_ tired the next day, but we couldn't stop smiling at each other? Of course, Santana had noticed, and asked if we'd "finally lost our V-cards." I think Mr. Schue blushed harder than we did.

Or do you remember that time that we were in the woods behind my house, and we found those little white flowers? I remember I just barely stopped you from picking one, because you didn't know it was illegal.

How about that time Rachel threw another party? We'd both decided not to drink, and then the hostess herself decided it was a good idea to start crawling all over me and licking at my face.

You're so cute when you're jealous.

I love you.

Blaine.


	4. January 18th

_January Eighteenth_

Kurt,

I just saw you kiss him in the hall.

Yesterday was a better day, I finally felt like I was starting to get over you. Seeing you with him like that broke my heart all over again. That was supposed to be me. I was supposed to be the one smiling against your shoulder, not him.

So here I sit in the most boring class I've ever taken, and I can't get that image out of my head. It took everything I had not to simply stop and stare at you.

I wish I could actually tell you how I feel. I wish it didn't seem redundant when I apologize.

But I'm glad you're happy, even if it isn't with me.

I love you.

Blaine


	5. January 20th

_January Twentieth_

Kurt,

I dreamed about you last night. We were at Dalton, and you were crying. You said you didn't want to be together, but that you missed us. Missed the way we were.

I went looking for you this morning, seeking more closure than I was given. I couldn't find you, though. And now I'm second-guessing myself.

Wes says I need to learn something other than you, because you're all I know. I'm trying, but it's not easy.

I love you.

Blaine.


	6. My Apologies

__Dear Readers,__

__I'm sorry to say that I won't be continuing this story. You see, Blaine is me. These letters are literally ones that I have been writing to my ex, only tweaked a little to fit into the Glee verse.__

__I thought I'd be able to handle having these up on the web, but it turns out I was wrong. All of the "I hope they get back together," and the "poor Blaine"s were really getting to me. Writing letters to Duran turned into_ _how can I make this work for Blaine_ _and it stopped being therapeutic for me.__

__I'm not blaming any of you for anything, I was the one who decided to post these on the internet, and the response to this has been lovely. I appreciate all of your kind words, but Duran and I aren't getting back together, and I've come to accept this now.__

__Thank you all again for the lovely words of encouragement, and I apologize for any disappointment.__

__I love you all.__

__Sydni__


End file.
